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I am a Midwestern memoirist who just recently converted to Christianity. I was given I Praise You Because… 365 daily devotions for men and women on the character of God by Patti Wiens. Instead of journaling in the book, I have decided to journal here!

Join me on deepening your relationship with Christ as I step into the deeper waters of scripture and practice.

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Day 156 of 365

Psalm 77:13-14

Prayer meditation:

O God, You work in mysterious ways that always keep me humbly guessing, and give me faith and lead me to ultimately trust You. I place my full faith in Your direction, Lord, and ask that You use me as a vessel for Your story. I am grown through the story and example of Your Son Jesus Christ, imbued with the Holy Spirit, and made in Your Way. What possible failure could I ultimately have? In Your Most Holy Name. Amen.

So, in a very roundabout way, it’s looking like God is going to end May with many of my questions answered. And oddly, I expected He would–but definitely not in the way He did! His sense of humor is better than mine!

Day 155 of 365

Psalm 76:7

Prayer meditation:

God, I understand that the righteous anger You have dealt before is just that: righteous. I praise You that You are gracious and loving to me, and stand firm against the enemy. I love that You LOVE and not CODDLE. You are my God. I am Yours. Amen.

I don’t have a lot to say today. I am not feeling well.

Day 154 of 365

Psalm 74:16-17

Prayer meditation:

Lord, I am in awe at Your temperance with the limitations and correction of the seasons. The way the autumn gives way to blankets of white (re: washing my sins as white as snow?), and how that white drains away to breezy, blue skies of new life in spring. I am truly astounded. Truly grateful. And for that, I praise You! Amen.

That’s all. 🙂

Day 153 of 365

Psalm 73:26

Prayer meditation:

Lord, I approach and seek You today with a grateful heart. When I am sick, You are with me. When I am weak, You rescue. When I am lost, You guide. I am so thankful to have a loving God watching out over me, and for that I praise You! In Your Most Holy Name. Amen.

My birthday went well. The celebrations will last through the weekend. Hoping to lead prayer over my meal on Saturday with my family. It’ll be the first time, and I know God can’t wait to show people the confidence I feel while praying!

Day 152 of 365

Psalm 73:24

Prayer meditation:

Lord, I am forever with Your wisdom and counsel, and for that this morning I praise You! You saw me through a trying time of fasting and prayer, and led me to great connection with You, even if I was not perfect–which I know is no surprise to You! In Your Name. Amen.

It is officially my 32nd birthday and I feel like I can say that I am happy to be able to break my fast. Was I perfect? No. I ate out a handful of times, did not seek and pray some days, and I admit to reading the emails Facebook sent me (though they said no specifics). My transgressions are between God and me, as I have said.

However I did learn this: there is room in my life to make God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit my stronghold. And I fully intend to continue pieces of what I learned–the contrite and constant prayer, the idea of reverent fasting, and turning to face Him.

Time to celebrate breaking the fast and my birthday!

Day 151 of 365

Psalm 71:16

Prayer meditation:

Father God, it becomes clearer each day that You alone are my strength. I praise You for the days I seek You and You answer, and You always answer! I will always walk Your Way, modeling Your Son Jesus, with the Holy Spirit. You are my protector, my author, and my perfecter. I know I am not perfect; I am sinner, but in my repentance, I will find rest in You,

Listening to the song “This Could Change Everything” by Francesca Battestelli, and if you have not, reader, do yourself that favor. It’s the story of a young believer beginning to believe and how it changes everything. IT HAPPENED TO ME.

This Could Change Everything!

Day 150 of 365

Psalm 71:5-6

Prayer meditation:

Lord, I know that Your love is unceasing and unconditional. Even when I was not pursuing You, lost in a sea of faux-freedom, I was Your lamb. I am so grateful that You tapped my shoulder and took me upon Your fortress so that I could learn to walk Your Way. I am astonished daily by the true display of love Your Son Christ Jesus made for me (everyone). I want to love like that, bottomless and unrelenting. In Your Most Holy Name, I praise You! Amen.

Six more days left of this season of prayer and fasting, and though there have been transgressions, I know that those are between God and me. He knew this would be a struggle for me, and He wanted to see my reaction and rebound back to doing so for His glory, rather than my own determination, which Satan uses because it is fallible. I feel called to do a liquid fast tomorrow and Saturday. I will do it happily, but give myself grace if it gives me too much trouble.

Some of things I have learned have been rather extraordinary, but I will do a major assessment at the end of the fast on my birthday (May 15th). As the Casting Crowns says, “I’m living for the world to see / Nobody but Jesus.” Just a taste of the lessons to come. Until then, dear reader, have many blessings this day.

Happy 150th post!